I'm Moving to Minneapolis.

There's nothing you can do. I know that this might upset a few of you, but it's something that's been building up in me for the last six years. I didn't realize how bad it has gotten here in Lincoln and how superior and heavenly a place like Minneapolis truly is. I mean you only have to take a few steps down the sidewalk (or the middle of the street) here in downtown Lincoln to realize how sub par this town really is. Or simply lie between parked motorcycles, cars, or restaurants on any downtown Lincoln street and just watch as the citizens of this town look at you in disgust and fear. Something that would never happen in Minneapolis, that's for sure. Or maybe you'd be inclined to stand on the sidewalk in front of a group of people dining or sharing drinks with their friends (who by the way always sit in packs of 12 or 9) to talk about your love for the greatest city on earth, Minneapolis, and you will find yourself dripping with whatever beverages maybe at hand. These are just a few examples of how unfriendly the people of Lincoln are...it's true....look around you.

I know some of you are asking, "McQuBen you've done so, so, soooo many great things in this community. You make people laugh, you wear tight shorts, why would you go and throw it all away like this?" And to you I respond with, "you fucking liar, you only pretend to be concerned about me! You're just like all the other inferiors in this town, completely STUCK-UP!"

Only now have I finally found the inspiration and courage for my journey. Believe me I've always known that Minneapolis is the greatest city in the world and that Lincoln, NE pales in comparison, but I don't think that I would have grasped this big picture idea on my own...















The switch was flipped on sharply by a man I have the most incredible respect for, this man.
















This man was quite jealous of the encounter.

In conclusion, I feel it is imperative for me to flee from this place to eat in fine restaurants such as Buca Di Beppo (far superior to rip-off establishments obviously trying to copy the use of garlic in it's dishes) and to walk the halls of million dollar museums. Enjoy your crappy city!